I Should Have Been There
by R.C. Cummings
Summary: Emily has a concussion and has to help solve a case while JJ is abducted.


***Okay as always, I own nothing of Criminal minds I just get the privilege of playing with the characters for a while.**

Chapter One

Emily had suffered a concussion in the Milwaukee case and wasn't cleared to fly for another week since the head aches she was experiencing hadn't stopped. They were getting fewer and far between but not enough to be cleared for field duty. She hated being sidelined in Pen's lair while her team was on a case.

"Emily if you do not stop pacing behind me I swear…" Pen was interrupted by her phone ringing. "Goddess of knowledge and the tormented princess here at your service."

"Hey baby girl…we need those fast fingers of yours. We think JJ has been taken by the unsub and we need you to track her cell."

"What!" was yelled by both women.

"Pen… just track her phone I got the map," Emily said waiting on a location.

"Guys… The phone is pinging at the corner of West 23rd Street and South Canal Street."

"Thanks baby girl."

"Bring our buttercup home safely."

"On it…" Morgan said as he hung up.

Emily studied the map of the area closely. "Pen…Pull that area up from a satellite view."

"What do you see?"

"I'm not sure I need a visual. Can you also pull up the subway maps as well?"

"Please…In my sleep." She said as she clicked keys pulling up feeds while also plugging into the team's radio communications so they could monitor what was going on.

"Hotch…We have the vehicle in sight," Reid said letting the rest of the team know where to go.

"Copy…we are a minute out secure the area and wait." Hotch replied wanting to have more man power when they moved in.

"Copy…"

"Come on…come on…" Emily said as she started pacing again. "Please be there and alright."

Garcia had never seen the normal calm and collected woman this upset before.

Morgan and Reid moved in when they saw Hotch pulling up...one on each side of the red van looking into the driver's seat …nothing. They kept moving till reaching the back of the vehicle and announced themselves. "F.B.I. Come out with your hands up."

They slowly opened the back door when there was no reply or movement. "Hotch…their gone. No one is in the van." Reid said dejectedly.

"Damn it" Emily said as she pulled the door to Pen's lair open and stormed out. She needed a moment to herself. She didn't want Penelope to see all the emotions she was feeling at the moment. No one knew her secret and she wanted it to stay that way.

Ten minutes later Pen's phone rang, "Tell me you've got something?" She said to Hotch not caring who she was talking to because she was worried about her best friend.

"I'm sorry Garcia there isn't any news. Is Emily there with you? She isn't picking up her phone."

"No sir I believe she went to the restroom and her phone is in her jacket here in my office."

"Have her call me when she returns."

"Yes sir."

"…and Garcia we will find her."

"I know sir I just worry about all of you. Pen out." She said as she hung up.

Emily found herself in front of the sink in the women's restroom washing cold water over her face. She hoped it would stop the urge to allow the fear in her stomach to rise to her eyes starting the tears that she knew would start.

"If only I would had been allowed to go on this trip JJ would have been in the police station safe." She thought to herself. She knew the woman could handle herself in the field but her physical futures weren't a match for the unsubs preferences. She wasn't beautiful with blonde hair and blue eyes. Hearing the door open she took some paper towels and dried her face in an effort to appear normal.

"Em…Are you okay?" Pen asked as she approached her.

"I'm fine Pen. Have they found her?"

"No sweetie but Hotch is blowing up your phone."

Emily reached to her belt then remembered it was in her jacket in Pen's office. "I left it…" she didn't get to finish before Pen handed her the very cell phone she was looking for, "Thanks."

"No problem." She said leaving Emily as she dialed their boss.

"Hotch…"

"Emily where are we on the geographic profile."

"He is all over the map Hotch and yet there seems to be an order to his abduction sites. I'm working on it."

"I know and I do not have to remind you that the stakes are higher now."

"No, you don't. I'm heading back to Pen's right now."

"Call when you have something…"

"Will do"

"…and Emily…"

"Yea"

"This is not your fault. JJ would have been in the field on this even if you had been here. Remember we are still an agent down."

"Thanks, Hotch...I'll call when I have something." She said before she disconnected the call. No matter what anyone said until JJ was found she was going to blame herself.

Chapter Two

Pen looked over at her friend who was sitting starring at one of the maps showing Chicago streets. It had been over 41 hours since JJ had gone missing and they were no closer to finding the unsub than when she went missing.

The woman was silent and had been for hours lost in her thoughts and searches of dead ends. She hadn't slept in three days or eaten except her finger nails that Pen could remember. Finally, she couldn't take the stress of seeing Emily like this anymore.

"Em…gum drop you need to go and get some sleep. I'll call you if there is anything."

No response just staring at the map where JJ had been abducted.

Pen raised her voice, "Emily."

Same response nothing, "Emily Prentiss" Pen yelled.

"What" Emily said while being startled out of her thoughts.

"I said you need to go get some sleep you look like something that has crawled out of its tunnel."

"What did you just say?"

"You need sleep…"

"No after that."

"Well no offense Emily you look awful."

"That's not what you said."

"I said you look like something that has crawled out of its tunnel."

"That's it." She yelled and turned to replay the recording of the unsub parking the van and moving JJ to the trucking lot beside where he parked. They never saw a vehicle leave the lot…it was like they vanished into thin air.

Pen had settled down in her chair waiting for Emily to explain or ask for something knowing that look on her friend's face.

"I need you to pull footage from the flood of the Chicago River around the early 1990's." She said as she pulled her phone out.

"On it"

"Hotch…"

"What do you have Emily."

"Is Reid there with you?"

"Yes, let me put you on speaker so you can speak to all of us."

"Reid when was the Chicago River flood."

"In 1992…when a pile driver hit a freight tunnel wall causing a crack which became a twenty-foot hole, over one hundred million gallons of water flooded the tunnels that the Chicago Tunnel Company built in the early nineteen hundred. Those tunnels backed up to area business in that day. I see where you are going with this. But there were at least 62 miles of tunnels and most were sealed up after the flood." He said heading to his map.

"That's true but the local power company and internet companies reopened a lot of them and now use them for their cables." Garcia said as she followed what was being said.

"That fits the profile and where you found the van on 23rd street… just a few blocks over is the IUEO local 399." Emily said as she was looking at satellite footage of the area.

"Garcia…"

"Yes, my liege." She said to Hotch.

"Go through the list of suspects and narrow the search to engineers working for the power company…telecommunications or construction dealing with these tunnels."

"Already on it but I need you to narrow it some more."

"Rule out married men and those younger than 30." Morgan said.

"That helps…keep it coming."

"He may have a record or recently divorced and may have belonged to the local union." Hotch said.

"Bingo"

"Thomas Dailey worked for Edison Power until last year when he was let go because of an argument with a supervisor. He had worked there for eleven years. He tried to appeal the termination with the local 399 to no avail. He was served with divorce papers two months ago, and his wife is asking for full custody of their two children." She said reading off her screens.

"Two months ago, is when the first woman was abducted. That has to be the stressor." Reid said looking at the map again.

"His home address is to your PDA as I speak… Go bring our buttercup home." Garcia said excitedly.

"You know it baby girl." Morgan said disconnecting the phone call.

XXXXX

The team arrived at the address that had been sent them and found the unsub and arrested him but JJ wasn't anywhere to be found. Pen turned and looked at the brunette who was still staring at the map when the news came across that JJ was still missing.

"Em… they will find her. I just know it." Pen said hoping that Emily would reinforce her hope that JJ was still alive.

"Yeah… Do you still have the footage of the trailer parking lot from the time that she went missing till now?"

"Sure… What are you thinking?"

"Not sure yet just want to look at it." She said as she moved to the computer screen that Pen pointed to.

Hours later Reid was feeling a moment of discouragement and called Garcia to see if they had any information on their end.

"Anything on JJ boy wonder," she asked hoping they had something.

"No Hotch and Morgan interrogated the man for hours trying to find out where she was but he just smiled and finally asked for his lawyer."

"Has Emily figured anything out yet?"

"No…"

"Yes…I have."

Pen turned and looked at the woman who had been silent for hours watching videos of trucks parking and leaving.

"Wait a minute let me get Hotch and Morgan."

They could hear the man yelling for the others to come into ear shod of his speaker phone. "Okay Emily…we are here."

"I believe JJ was slipped into the tunnels at the truck park on 23 Street. There is a trailer number AL26548np587 that was moved that night for no reason so I looked at footage before it was moved and there is a manhole cover under it. I think it may lead to the old tunnels that the cables run in."

"Good job Emily we are on it." Hotch said as they left to go back to 23rd street.

"That's amazing Em…" Pen said turning to look at her friend and froze as she saw Emily staring at the footage with tears running down her face lost in what seemed to be a whispered prayer,

"Please let her be alive and safe," was repeated over and over then softer and softer until silence and staring remained. Pen decided to give the woman her personal space because really her prayer was all of their prayers.

XXXXX

The women waited in silence. There was no way for communications to reach them in the tunnels with fiber optic cables messing with the transmissions. Pen really wanted to talk to Emily about what she had observed early but was afraid the woman might shut down or shoot her for asking. Another thirty minutes passed when the phone rang.

Pen answered the phone with, "Oh please…please be JJ."

"Sorry baby girl it's me but we have her. She is alive and safe."

Emily and Penelope both let out a sigh of relief while embracing each other smiling.

"Morgan, was she hurt?" Emily asked fearing the worst.

"She is a little rough around the edges but we got to her before any real damage was done I'm told. You can thank yourself and boy wonder for finding her."

"How's that?"

"He remembered an article on the Chicago Tunnel Company… how they backed up to businesses of that day and looked for anomalies in the tunnel walls. She was behind a false wall that none of us would have seen but your boy did." Morgan said as he smiled at Reid who was over by the ambulance where JJ was being taken care of.

"We will have to celebrate when you all get back home." Pen said jumping up and down in her seat at the good news.

"Well if JJ checks out okay we should see you by 7pm I'll call with the news."

"Bye lover boy…the girls will be waiting on you." Pen said in a sultry voice.

"I hope so." He said as he hung up.

Pen turned to say something to Emily but stopped a moment as she noticed the woman sitting in the corner staring at the map silent again.

"Em…honey it is okay. JJ is safe."

No response.

"Emily… JJ is safe and coming home." She said louder causing the woman to jump.

"I know Pen… I think I need sleep. I'm going to head home."

"You are not going out with us and celebrate?"

"I would love to Pen but…"

"…but nothing missy," she said interrupting Emily. There is something going on with you and I want to know what it is?"

"It's been a stressful few weeks Pen and my head is hurting."

"I get that Em… you haven't eaten or slept in days but there is more to it than that. I wasn't going to say anything but you were crying and praying for JJ earlier."

"As far as I know praying or crying for a friend and co-worker isn't a crime especially when they have been abducted by a serial killer." She said in a steely voice that made Pen shiver on the inside.

"No… it isn't a crime." She said knowing not to press further unless she wanted the wrath of Emily.

"Good…now that we have established that I haven't committed a crime… I'm going home."

"I'm worried about you driving. Please just go and lie down on JJ's couch and sleep for a few hours before you drive."

Emily looked at the woman standing in front of the door. She really wanted to just walk through her straight to her car but Pen's logic made sense. She hadn't slept in days and her head was pounding, "Okay I will go and sleep in JJ's office until we find out if they are staying in Chicago or coming home."

"Thank you…thank you" the woman said happy that she wouldn't have to worry yet again about another friend getting safely home.

Emily smiled as Pen moved and let her out the door to go to JJ's office.

Chapter Three

JJ came into her office walking on crutches and saw Emily curled up sleeping with her face lying on her hands in a prayer pose from the dim light of the hallway. She smiled at the sight of her friend's innocent face at peace in slumber, which suddenly came to an end once her crutch hit the side of the door knocking it into the wall. Emily jumped from the couch to a standing position looking both ways to find out where the danger was going to come from and which way she should run. When she turned to her right she saw JJ standing there laughing. "I'm sorry Em… I haven't gotten the hang of these yet. Are you okay?"

"JJ…" She said in more of a question than a statement.

"Yes… it's me."

Shaking her head to get the cob webs out she focused again on the silhouette in the doorway. "What time is it…ouch?" She said as JJ turned on the lights causing the woman to shield her eyes.

"I'm sorry do you want me to turn them back off?"

"Yes…please."

"Your head still giving you trouble?"

"Bright lights hurt my eyes until I get fully awake. Enough about me how are you?" She asked coming over to assess her friend's physical state.

"I'm fine."

"Fine…you are on crutches. That's not fine Jennifer."

JJ noticed the use of her proper name. "I'm fine with a few rough edges here and there but I'm extremely tired."

"What are you two doing standing in the dark?" Pen asked as she turned on the lights.

Emily went to her knees shieling her eyes not expecting the bright light burst which shot a current of pain through her head.

"Pen…Turn them out!" JJ yelled.

"Oh, Emily I am so sorry…" She said as she flipped them off.

"It's okay Pen I just need my medicine that is in my jacket. Where is my jacket? She asked looking around for it.

"Now don't get mad grumpy britches…" Pen said hiding behind JJ, "I sort of took it to my office so your phone wouldn't wake you up."

Emily rubbed her eyes, "That's why I have slept so long. What time is it?"

"It's 7:30pm. You have slept for ten hours straight. Now you need to eat something." Pen said still hiding behind JJ.

"I will when I get home. I'll get my jacket on the way out."

"Oh no…You don't," JJ said in her best motherly voice.

"What?"

"You can't even tolerate the overhead light being on how do you plan on driving?"

"I'll take my medicine and it will be alright."

"I have a better idea. Morgan can drive us to your condo and Pen can follow so your car is there when you need it."

"JJ I do not need a baby sitter."

"I'm not leaving you alone in your condition and I'm supposed to have someone with me for a couple of days anyway. We will help each other."

"Great the blind leading the blind," she grumbled under her breath.

"Pen…Go and get her jacket, purse and a glass of water so she can take her pills and I'm going to pull the files I need to work on while I'm out of the office."

"On it buttercup," she said leaving the room.

"Can you handle the desk lamp being on?"

"I think so."

JJ made her way over and made sure the lamp was pointed down on her desk. "Cover your eyes." She said as she turned the lamp on. "How's that on you?"

"I can tolerate it."

"Good…Now come over here so I can load you down with files that I can't walk with."

"Fixing up the pack mule I see."

"Em…"

"I'm kidding. Where is your satchel and go bag?"

"Morgan is switching the old one for my spare one that's in my car and then he's bringing both satchel and bag up here."

"Oh"

"Yeah…He and Garcia thought if they kidnap my clothes I would go out with the team for dinner and drinks. But thanks to you and your head we both are safe and get to get out of the evening."

"So, I'm being used."

"No…I didn't say that. It is just convenient." She said with a slight smile on the corner of her lips.

"Well glad I could be of service to the cause." Emily said as she finally had to laugh at the irony of the situation.

"Here you go my brooding brown eyed girl…" she said handing Emily her pill then water to take it with, "… and I saw Morgan and told him the plan so he took your bag back to his car and is waiting on us. JJ…I brought your satchel up since I knew you wanted to take some files with you and here is Emily's purse and sunglasses for her eyes."

"Thanks Pen… Em has the files in her arms."

"How long do you expect to be out? She can't see past the stack in front of her." Emily groaned and raised the files in front of her face to help Garcia's point to be made.

"That's not true. There is only about fifteen files there and stop embellishing it Emily."

"I rest my case... Fifteen files that can remain on your desk for a few days while the both of you rest." She said looking from one to the other.

"Okay I will only take five with me but I am going to leave twenty-five on my desk with a post it note with numbers 1 through 5 as the order you are going to bring them to me as I ask for them."

"Yes, your highness." She said as she curtsied in front of JJ while Emily laughed. "Now let's go I have a stud muffin in the mood to buy me drinks waiting downstairs and you two are cramping my style."

"Let's go we don't want to cramp Pen's thang." Emily said emphasizing the word "thang."

"No I would hate to do that." JJ agreed smiling and looking at Emily rolling her eyes.

"Give me the keys to your car Em…"

"My car…why my car"

"Because Morgan said quote, "Hell no…you are not driving my car," end of quote. You know men. Their cars are an extension of their penis they wouldn't let anyone else drive that either."

They all busted out laughing at the comment for it was most accurate especially in Morgan's case.

"What are you ladies laughing about?" Morgan asked as he opened the door for JJ to hop in. They all busted out again.

"Oh, you know Morgan girl stuff." She said as she handed him her crutches.

"That just sounds dangerous on all accounts."

"You have no idea." Pen said smiling.

"I'm riding with Pen since she is driving my pen…car." Emily corrected but the girls lost it again.

"I'm missing the joke. Come on now let a brother into the knowing."

"We will leave that up to the press liaison if she wants to inform the public or not." Emily said smiling and winking at JJ. She was very thankful for the light banter at the moment not knowing how it was going to be at her condo. She didn't have a good feeling at all about the beautiful blonde she had secret feelings for being in her personal space for an extended amount of time.

Chapter Four

Emily walked in and closed the door so she could deactivate the alarm. Afterwards she held the door open for JJ to enter then stepped into the hall to get the woman's satchel and go bag. She stored them in the hall until she could think what to do. It's wasn't like JJ hadn't slept over before. She had even slept in Emily's bed after consuming too much alcohol on a few girls' night out. But this was different Emily was feeling very raw and knew that her walls were in jeopardy of crumbling. Pen had almost seen past them and the woman wasn't as good as JJ in reading her. She feared even the breath of the blue-eyed woman at the moment… knowing it could start the cracks to start that couldn't be repaired quickly enough so her feelings wouldn't be revealed. "I would get us both a glass of wine but I'm thinking that's not such a hot idea with both of us on medication." She said as she made her way into the living room where JJ had made herself at home on the couch.

"Yeah they tend to frown on alcohol and pain pills at the bureau…just can't understand why." She said winking at Emily.

"It might have to do with all the secrets we are supposed to keep."

"Maybe… but I believe you can do both. I haven't been able to crack your compartments yet Ms. Prentiss." She said jokingly.

Emily's knees almost buckled as she thought, "You are standing there with the key to all the locks and don't even know it." Her phone rang snapping her out of her resolve, "Prentiss."

"Em…Go to your front door."

"What?"

"You heard me…there is going to be a knock…" the doorbell rang…"Okay...a doorbell then is going to ring." Pen said laughing.

"Why is my doorbell ringing?"

"Because I ordered Chinese food and because you and JJ haven't eaten and you need to…I've already paid for it. So just take it from the man's hands and smile."

"Thank you mother Penelope."

"Do not get sassy with me Emily Prentiss."

"I'm sorry…Thank you really."

"That's better…"

"…and Emily…"

"Yeah…" She said rolling her eyes.

"Tell JJ how you feel about her before someone else tells her they love her and it leaves you heart broken. Pen out."

Emily stood looking at her phone like it was an alien. Then she heard JJ's phone ringing.

"Jareau"

"Hey Pen…"

"I will…and thank you."

"Bye."

Emily walked in carrying the bag of food, "And what was that all about?" Afraid of what was said on the other end of the line.

"She said to make sure you eat. That you haven't really eaten in three days." JJ said raising her eyebrows in a mother like fashion.

"I have a mother I do not need a second or third one…especially since the first one isn't on my list of people I like."

"OOO…you do need to eat…grumpy is flowing all out of you." She said smiling at the frowning woman.

"Don't start." Emily said putting the food on the table and getting plates down, "Do you want to eat over there or at the table mother number three?"

"I think I can manage the table over there and I'm not your mother. I am your friend who is concerned about your health."

"Okay…okay…let's just eat already." She said with a half-smile and half-sigh.

They both were eating in silence and wondering how to start the conversation about the elephant sitting with them at the table.

"Em…" JJ said breaking the silence.

"You need something?"

"Yeah… I need you to talk to me."

"What do you want to talk about?"

JJ rolled her eyes and pinched her nose at the frustration of trying to get this woman to talk. "You know I really do not need you to talk but listen…"

Emily looked up at JJ from her plate knowing it was going to hit the fan.

"Pen and I talked before I came up to my office. She expressed that you were really distraught over my abduction…"

Self-preservation kicked in hard inside Emily, "Oh course I was distraught my best friend had been taken by a serial killer. I know I can be focused but I do have a heart. That's full of love…" The last part she said under her breath then stopped suddenly while getting up and beginning to clean the table. She knew JJ staying there was a bad idea and now a box lid had almost been blown off.

"Emily…"

No answer but the woman stood still with her back to JJ.

"Emily…Look at me." JJ said softer.

She turned and looked at the woman now standing on her crutches.

"I can't chase after you in my condition please come here." Emily looked to the ceiling willing every emotion she had to be pushed back into the boxes they were escaping from… then moved towards the woman that held the keys to her heart. "I'm sorry… we can talk about this later. Please do not shut me out. I need you to be here with me…I was so scared down there but you kept me strong. You always keep me strong."

Emily looked at her puzzled… "How… I wasn't there. I should've been there." She said as her voice cracked and tears threatened to escape.

"I knew you would find me." JJ said as she awkwardly reached out to hug her.

"I'm so sorry… Are you okay?"

"I am now here with you."

They stood there for several moments basking in their friendship.

"Em…"

"Hum"

"Will you help me take a shower? I want to wash the dirt off…I need the dirt off."

"Sure…" She said and kissed the woman's head as she helped her up the stairs. Emily helped her to sit on the bed and then went in and ran a hot bath figuring she would like that. She gathered towels and got her clothes out of her go bag while JJ sat and waited for everything to be ready. "Your water is run." JJ smiled and walked to the bathroom. Emily started to leave until a hand caught her wrist.

"I will need your help…I have bruised ribs and I will need you to re-wrap my ankle afterwards." She said looking down ashamed for having to ask and not really wanting Emily to see the bruising but it couldn't be helped her want of a bath was greater than her shame.

Emily lifted the woman's chin so she could look at her. "It's okay…I will help you." They stood there for a few moments until Emily felt JJ's shame had melted away. "Do you need help with your clothes?"

"Yes…"

Emily took a deep breath and went into the bathroom with JJ following. She motioned with her hand for the woman to sit on the toilet lid so she could bend and unwrap her ankle. After the ankle was free she took JJ's boot off the other foot and gentle massaged her foot. Hoping the gentle touch would relax the nervous woman. JJ gave a soft moan. Encouraged by the sound Emily made wider moves up the woman's calf. "You continue that Em and I'm going to fall asleep here on your toilet. I'm not so sure what kind of story that would make when Pen grills me on Monday."

"Leave Pen up to me…and just relax."

"I'll relax but I would rather you not shoot her. I'll just make something up." She said moaning into another squeeze of her heel.

"I need you to stand and lean on me while I finish undressing you."

JJ complied but didn't place any weight on her right ankle. Emily started with the button up shirt and unwrapped her ribs then moved to the pants saving her panties for last giving as much privacy as possible and herself less time to notice and possibly get caught in an embarrassing situation of explaining a stare or worse a drool. She helped the woman into the water and started to leave again until a soft "Emily" was heard. Looking into JJ's eyes silently asking, "What?"

"Will you…do you mind…" the question died into the water as JJ hung her head.

Emily bent on her knees and lifted the woman's head up by her chin. "What do you need?"

"Would you wash my back and help me wash my hair? I want to be clean from head to toe."

Emily looked at the woman "Did he rape you sweetie?"

"No…" She said almost violently.

"JJ…" she said softly.

"No Em…he threatened it several times and felt me up." She shivered at the memory. Emily went forward and embraced her. She didn't care about getting wet. They both sobbed into each other's shoulders. "I should have been there." Emily whispered into the air.

JJ pulled back from her, "No… I would have been taken anyway. You know that?" She said as she cupped the woman's face.

"I know…but…"

"Emily… you were with me here…" she took the woman's hand and placed it over her heart. "…that's what kept me going down there. The strength of knowing you would find me." The moment was thickly charged with electric energy as JJ moved slowly and caught the lips in front of her. Slipping her hand behind JJ's head Emily pulled her closer to deepen the kiss conveying her feelings. Pulling apart they starred into each other's eyes knowing one another's thoughts without a word being spoken. Emily moved behind her and soaped up a wash cloth and started washing the woman's back gentle squeezing like a massage so JJ could register a new touch on her skin hoping it would relax her further. She then took the cup off the sink and went in front and shielded JJ's eyes as she poured water on her hair so she could wash it lathering it as she massaged the scalp causing JJ to moan into the loving touches. She rinsed and finished as she began in front of the woman she secretly loved.

"Feel better?"

"You just do not know how much. Thank you."

"My pleasure," She said as she reached in and placed the woman's arms around her neck so she could help her out of the tub. "I'm going to lift most of your weight but I will need the help of your left leg in the process." JJ shook her head in a yes manor indicating she understood. They got her out and sat her on the towel that Emily had placed on the toilet. She dried her off and re-wrapped her ankle. She started to re-wrap the ribs but was stopped. "No…not while I sleep."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes" she said as she put the oversized t-shirt on that she was going to wear to bed. Emily brushed and dried her hair while the tub drained.

"Why don't you shower while I brush my teeth Em?"

"Good idea."

JJ finished before Emily's shower and decided to give the woman some privacy. She went into the bedroom and sat on the bed. Emily came into the room after finishing her routine and found JJ sitting starring off into space shivering. "JJ…" No response. "Jennifer…"

She looked up into warm brown eyes, "Em…"

"I'm here… you are freezing." She said as she wrapped her arms around the woman. "Come on get under the covers and I will hold you."

The woman slid under the covers then into Emily when she joined her under them. She started kissing the shivering beauty on top of her head trying to pour love and safety into her. She got lost in thought that came out in a whisper, "I should have been there."

"You are here now. Please Em…hold me, touch me take it all away."

Emily breathed in deeply pulling the woman in tighter. "I'm not sure how too."

JJ took her hand and slid it up under her shirt and rested it on the warm skin of her stomach. Then she pulled her shirt off, "Touch me Em…leave only the memory of your warm hands here and here..." She said as she moved Emily's hand around finally ending with her placing the woman's hand on her breast, "…and especially here." Emily's eyes widen as she understood what and the why of what JJ was saying. She kissed the woman's face with butterfly kisses and tears. She lifted up and brushed the back of her hand down JJ's cheeks as she looked into terrified and yet loving eyes. She watched as the fear faded and melted into desire as she kissed the woman deeply. She moved to her neck and heard soft moans and felt hands in her hair pulling her deeper into the warm skin. Slowly moving down being careful of the bruised ribs she kissed warm breast only moving to the nipples when JJ's hands guided her to them.

"Em…"

She looked up into the desire of cobalt eyes. "Take it away."

She came up and kissed the woman deeply and passionately as JJ took her hand and placed it on her core then pulling back from the kiss, "Take it away…leave only the memory of you. It doesn't belong to anyone that I don't give it to."

Emily breathed in deeply willing tears and anger back. She blew it out whispering, "Did he rape you Jennifer?"

"No…Not physically but mentally and emotionally…yes"

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I need to feel safe and I need a new memory…I need you Emily… I need you to make love to me."

Emily held her as she thought. She knew if she did this that it would kill the hope of a normal relationship because love making would be a reminder to the woman she loved and yet how could she not do it and take away the pain and memory causing the woman she loved to feel safe. She slid down JJ's body having made her decision. She laid her head on the woman's stomach feeling the warmth and softness on her tear stained cheek. Taking another deep breath, she moved lower until she was over the source of many of her fantasies and dreams and blew them out and allowed herself to be guided to where JJ wanted her.

" _ **We will be landing in Washington in five minutes. Please fasten your seat belts."**_

The announcement broke the memory. She fastened her seat belt with the words escaping her lips, "I should have been there." as she prepared to find and rescue JJ from Askari.

 **Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it.**

 **I promise I haven't abandoned my series. My next posting will be Joy, Scars, Forever (Part 6) promise.**


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